Why me? Well, why not?
We went to an adoption agency picnic today. It was so great to see the people who played such an important part in the birth of our Princess!
My husband and I noticed a couple sitting at a picnic table without a child. “Are you waiting?” I asked the young lady? She confirmed that yes, they were waiting for placement. Oh, I remember how difficult the waiting process was — especially when everyone else seemed to have children. Boaz and I shared our adoption story and encouraged the couples who are still waiting.
I recognized the yearning and the pain in this young couple’s eyes.
How many of us have asked God, “Why me?”
I know I have asked that question about things in my life: My Dad with cancer, my Mom with a stroke, my sister with Crohn’s disease … the list goes on. I also wondered for YEARS why I struggled with panic attacks.
When I was 18, I was headed to work and I suddenly lost control. I was at a stoplight and felt trapped. I became disoriented, faint, my heart raced and I felt out of control. That was the beginning of HELL on EARTH for me. Those attacks began to manifest each time I was approaching a stop light. Since satan is an equal opportunity tormentor — the attacks also happened when I was out in public: restaurants, movie theaters, grocery stores, and church. The world would have labeled me: agoraphobic. Hog-wosh! Me — labeled something other than who GOD says I am? I can tell you this: Since I didn’t know God’s Word and since I didn’t have any spiritually mature people in my life — the devil had me bound.
That was my introduction to spiritual warfare. Yes, Spiritual Warfare 101. I wish I could say that God stepped in and immediately set me free. In my case, NO, He didn’t. I believe it had to do with whatever God has called me to do. We grow our spiritual muscles as we fight free. Does that make sense? We learn, we grow, and hopefully we mature.
Was God with me during all of those horrible years of torture and torment? Yes.
“Why me? Why can’t I just live a normal life?” I’d ask. I’m sure the Lord heard that whimper come out of my mouth many years! (Don’t worry — there was a happy ending!)
Do you ask Him the same question?
It is so hard seeing the lessons learned when you’re in the heat of battle. Satan destroyed any self-esteem I had and I chose to rebuild my identity in Christ. He tried to convince me that I was losing my mind, but I stood on God’s Word and captured the devil’s lies and replaced them with God’s Truth.
Trust me, it is a miracle that a once very shy, uncertain young girl could do what I have done or do today. Has God set me free? YES — layer by layer.
Is He finished? I certainly hope not! Yes, I am free from panic attacks. God has shown me how to stand on His Word and close some spiritual doors that gave the enemy a foothold. I can tell you — FORGIVENESS is KEY and IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE KNOW WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST. We MUST know God’s Word. That is worth repeating — YOU MUST KNOW GOD’S WORD!
Lately, the Lord has been showing me another area where I need some healing.
Interesting. I see my posture in more of a surrender stance now. Yes, I battle the attacks. I don’t surrender to the enemy — I surrender to the Lord. There are so many burdens that would be more than happy to hop on my shoulders, but with my hands raised with palms stretched towards heaven — the unholy YOKE doesn’t fit. Hallelujah!
Are you asking yourself, “Why Me?” What can you learn in this season?
Hey Beth!
Thanks so much for following my blog! I really appreciate it, and I'm your newest follower too. 🙂
~ Love
Lindsay
Great post Beth! Amen!! When God sets us free…we are free indeed. I pray that couple receives a child to love soon. (((hugs))) I no longer ask "why me?", rather "why not me?". Love you!
Such a wonderful post, praying for you.
Very good word! I'm glad you were able to minister to that couple today. Love ya
A beautiful post Beth! You are absolutely correct…we need to stand strong on God's Word and equip ourselves with His truth. We have a real enemy, but thankfully he has already been defeated and we have the tools to flee from him over and over again (Eph. 6).
Bless you my dear! Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.
Trudy
You've touched something in my life when I also went through a spiritual battle in my family. And amen! We need to truly know God's Word! I think all of us ask Him that "Why me?" without realizing that there is a better outcome when God steps in into our lives. Blessings to you sister. Have a great weekend.
Beautiful post, Beth. Thank you for sharing this!
I know that feeling of panic attack all too well. Thank you for sharing. Yes their is healing and freedom in HIM. So glad when I feel those attacks coming on I know and I know where to go.
Hugs,
Mimi
Such a wonderful post, praying for you.
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Wow, Beth! This post was so full of encouragement and truth!!! I was blessed once again!!!
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I love meeting other bloggers. This was a great post. There are too many times I wonder "why me", but then I think about my blessings and realize I am stronger for my trials.
Beth, Thank you for sharing this post. My husband and I were at the picnic today as well. We are one of those couples that are waiting who currently do not have a child. I wish I had gotten a chance to me you and chat. Too many people, too little time. Thanks again for your post!
When we were struggling with infertility, I asked "why me/us" A LOT! There were even times when I was mad at God and wouldn't talk to him…even though he still talked to me. I know there's a reason for everything, and things happen in there own time, but when we are going through struggles, sometimes that is hard to remember.
Thanks for visiting my blog – I'm so glad we found each other 🙂
I don't ask, "Why me?" And it's not because I've reached some spiritual place. It's the exact opposite. … but that would lead to a much longer comment. Beautifully written testimony.
What can you learn in this season?
amen sis..this is exactly what I shared with the ladies at CWL. What is God trying to show us through this, what is He trying to teach us"
I remember way back when I would cry out to God, 'please Father, I don't want an F on this test, even a C would be better than an F'…I had a lot of failing grades back than. I was more concerned about my happiness than my character and who I was becoming in Christ Jesus.
Thank you!
You said a mouth full with this post. I have found myself plenty of times asking WHY ME! Now that I am on my path, I find myself saying I KNOW FATHER!