I always look forward to Mondays just so I can link with Mckmama at My Charming Kids! She hosts a great blog carnival where the participants confess share things that they’d rather forget.
Not me! Nope, I wasn’t forced to do my work-out video in front of my little Princess! I also wouldn’t dare use something called A FANNY LIFTER!!! What woman with any shred of respect would use a contraption by that name (hence admitting that her fanny NEEDS lifting!). Yes, this is a picture of the fanny lifter …
No, it wasn’t my daughter who watched in amazement and wonder saying, “Good job Mommy!” It also wasn’t my smarty pants child repeating the commands to me, “Hold up your chin,” “chest lifted high.”
Not my child. It wasn’t my Princess who said, “Mommy, they aren’t finished. Why aren’t you doing it?” Grrrrrrr. Then, “I can do it Mommy. Can you do this?” (As she touched her chest with her KNEES. Not bent knees — her feet were touching her head — legs straight!) Did I actually need a show off to pour salt in the wound? No, not ME.
No, not me — I wouldn’t hide in a dark hallway and scare my sweet husband (mwhaaaa haaa haaa haaaaaa)! I also didn’t do it while our daughter was sleeping so that he couldn’t make any noise.
Nope, I didn’t do it. I didn’t pretend to have night cream on my hand so that I could put it on my husband’s cheek. I didn’t do it! I didn’t cause him to jerk his head and hit the corner of our bathroom wall. Oops. Nope, not me. hee hee
Not me — I didn’t fall out of my bed and hit the floor! I wasn’t trying to get away from my husband who was determined to pinch me for the prior bathroom/head hitting incident. It wasn’t me who had on satin PJ’s that had absolutely NO traction on slick sheets.
It wasn’t my husband who left for the race in Bristol, TN at 4am on Saturday morning. Nope, I DIDN’T get out of the bed at 4am and join the ultimate blog party! I didn’t enjoy 2 1/2 uninterrupted hours of blogging time. Not me — I wouldn’t give up precious sleep for my obsession. Shhhhh!
Nope, not me. I would not sit and CRY while watching a COMEDY for cryin’ in the rain! Who would cry while watching “Evan Almighty” during the flood scene. No, of course I wouldn’t immediately think of what it must have been like for Noah and totally forget I am watching something so silly. Nope, not me. I have better control over my thoughts than that!
And last but not least …
It wasn’t me! I didn’t hold up a line of people at Harris Teeter this weekend. I didn’t have a purchase of twenty something bucks. It wasn’t me who started to write a check, then realized I had a $50 bill in my purse. It wasn’t me who VOIDED the check to dig for the $50 bill! IT WASN’T ME WHO COULDN’T FIND THE BILL IN MY CLUTTERED PURSE! It also wasn’t me who voided the LAST STINKIN’ CHECK IN MY PURSE! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Ok, that is enough! It would be embarrassing to admit deny anything more. Ha.
For more mishaps, visit MckMama — click HERE.
I loved reading your “Not ME”. Those were too funny. Isn’t it wonderful what children will say?! 😀
Practical jokes are so much fun! 😀 I haven’t played many lately, but I’ve done a few and had my share given back. LOL!
Have a great day!! 😀
Children always say the darndest things or so the show says. What a cutie your princess is!!! Loved your NM Monday. Enjoy your day.
I have nothing to say, except WHAT A RIOT!!
I may have to play along some day. Sooooo silly and fun!
This is such a hoot….bless your heart on that last check !!
xo bj
Haha! Oh Beth…
Sounds a little bit like my life…minus the fanny lifter! Although I’d like to try it! 🙂
Beth,
This was so funny! Oh just crack me up girl! I love how you do the pictures and visuals in there to go with the settings. Perfect!
Happy Monday, my friend.
You and your husband sound like Dwight and me horsing around. And, that little Princess of yours is so adorable. Andrew might say the same things to me but he can’t talk and I don’t do workout videos! 🙂 I guess we’re safe for now!
That was so funny!
You don’t have a long-lost sister living in Virginia, do you? Because those are the very sorts of things my wife “doesn’t” do.
Girrrrl, you are FUNNY! This was great.
You poor thing! I love how you had a little extra motivation during your workout. Who needs a trainer when you’ve got a little girl to help you out!
lol, I always enjoy your “Not Me” Mondays. At first, I thought.. why is she posting one on a Friday? I’m afraid.. my mind keeps thinking I’m in the wrong day!! Awesome stories about your mini-Jane Fonda and how hilarious it is to tease your husband! Have a great week!
You seriously have me cracking up this afternoon! Boy, do I ever need it, too…”Aunt Flo” is visiting and I’m ready to send that old bag packing! LOL!
So funny!! It’s “Not Me” that is laughing… with you!!!!
What great not me’s!! I am so laughing at your daughter “helping” you work out!! TOO FUNNY!!!
Oh..lol, Beth!! When I exercise, my kids totally join in or they observe me!! They like giggling or commenting that I’m not doing it like the person on TV!!! Haha!! Gotta love kids and their honesty!
I loved the last one. To funny! Hehehehe! Sorry about it, though!
Did you read her post today on Stellan? He’s in the hospital again and needs lots of prayer. He’s in NICU.
Good gracious my friend…you had alot go on this week. My kids tell me all kinds of nice things while I am working out. As if they could do better:)
Love that you fell out of the bed too. So funny..hope you are ok! What fun you and hubby have together.
These are great…I know love your not me’s. All the stuff your princess said is precious…maybe a little aggrevating at the time of intense exercising but precious at her age. You can’t help but to love that…now your hubs doing that doing workout…that might cause some more bathroom incidences. You are hubs sure have a good time. Makes me sad thinking of my good times. We had our own funnies: ear whispers that made him laugh, chicken kiss that made him laugh, and shake butt dance.
Love,
P
You are too funny!!!! Loved it as always.
Well, thanks for the laugh. I wish I did that much stuff that was funny. I use to love to do an exercise video w/ my kid. It’s so funny when they’re little and uncoordinated. And, I think they’re made of rubber, so they can do all those moves. :O) Glad to see D stayed out of trouble this week – a first? LOL!
Someone had an interesting weekend!
smooches,
Larie
Of course not you. lol you are so funny.
Girl…you are so funny! I can see myself doing the check, no wait…I have cash, oh, I can’t find it…awwww man…now I’m out of checks since I just voided the last one
…THING!
Have a great evening!
Great List! Hope you didn’t hurt yourself when you fell out of the bed!
totally halarious! I love your NOT ME MONDAY posts! you write them so well!
thanks for the laughter!
my son popped out of the corner last night to give me an on purpose little scare…. and he got me!!! he never gets me!
he thought it was so funny that he fell to the floor laughing… so I thought, "welp, no time like another than to get on the floor and get those kisses!… that will get him back, and bring me joy at the same time!!!"
it was fun!
thanks for always sharing this post!
have more fun this week!!!!
hugs & luv, Deanna
I am coming to visit a day late since it’s not Monday anymore. But I’m glad I came today. I needed a good laugh and you always supply it Beth.
First of all, I have those same steps for exercise. I used to use them to do Cher’s step aerobics video! They are in my garage now but maybe I need to dig them out. LOL.
Your hubby must have a sense of humor too. I’m glad to read that he does payback to you for your goofs. I love reading about your daughter and how she’s coaching you as you exercise your buns off. I also had to laugh at the comment on your Facebook profile from the guy who asked if you were buff. You had a quick comeback!
LOL! I loved this! Especially the check voiding part!!!
THOSE were great! The fanny lifter story is priceless and I laughed at the $$ story too…I was in Target holding up the lines when they told me my card was declined…not because there was NO MONEY but because they flagged it because I SPENT TOO MUCH AT TARGET…felt like a movie…:)
Loved these Beth!
LOL!!
lori
cute – my purse is a mess too and i’ve done that more than i care to admit! i’ve never done not-me-monday but i’ve been tempted. maybe soon though 🙂
That is too funny!!!