Why is Christmas such a nostalgic time? As adults our minds wonder back to a more innocent time of our youth when we were the children running to see our surprises on Christmas morning.

Of course, our thoughts follow a path and mine immediately remembers a time when my parents were strong and young. It seems to be a lifetime ago. I can remember waking my poor parents at 4am, shaking them with all I had to get them roused out of their warm bed on Christmas morning.

These memories are bitter sweet now because my parents are in such bad shape. If you’ve read my blogs for a while, you know my Mom had a severe stroke in 2001 and my 86 year old father has dealt with cancer for about 9 years (they gave him 3 years when they first diagnosed him).

Last night my Dad’s sister, Aunt Jane, reached out to me in sympathy concerning my parents and she could really tell how much worse my Mom had fallen since the last time she saw her. I began to feel the weight of my responsibility for my parents and it felt overwhelming. I can honestly say, I have no idea what will happen to my Mom if my Dad leaves first. She can’t take care of herself and it is almost as if she eats all of the wrong foods (as if she hopes to leave this world first). She is diabetic and she eats tons of chocolate candy. It is just a bad situation. She has so many wounds from childhood and a lifetime of bitterness just eating her up inside. Most of this spews from her like a bubbling brook. Now with her stroke, it is difficult to reason with her. It is so sad.

As I turned out the lights last night I had a good cry, but then realized I had to just give it to God. The weight of this is way too heavy for me to carry. This scripture immediately came to my heart, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians 4:6. I immediately handed this burden over to the Lord and went to sleep.

Sometime in the night I dreamed that I was in a valley. The rain was really falling and I knew a flood was coming. I was leading another lady up a steep mountain. It was too steep to walk up, so we were digging and climbing on our hands and knees. We finally found a fence to hold onto to pull ourselves to higher ground. Interesting dream since I feel like it is raining and I do know what we are going to face at some point. However, God is going to give me the way out of the valley. He is going to bring us through to safety.

How do people survive without Jesus? I know they must feel so alone and hopeless.

Just sharing my thoughts on this cold December morning. I am grateful that I will be at church in a couple of hours — enjoying some corporate worship.

Lord, please give my parents joy, peace, and strength in this season. Please loose your angels to minister to them as they go through their day. And Father, please order my steps today and use me for Your Glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.