May I just be honest?
I am really having a pity party this morning.
Part of it could be from lack of sleep. I awakened at 3:30am from a very strange dream about my grandmother (who died back in the 80’s), then my daughter came into our room, “I can’t sleep Mommy.” Needless to say, I’VE been awake since then.
Part of it is my own selfishness. I have to do something Tuesday that I DO NOT want to do. Inside I want to sit in the middle of the floor and throw a temper tantrum! Then comes the “guilt thoughts” — the condemnation, “You should want to do this for her … you are supposed to honor your …” Scream! I just want to cry. I am having to bend over backwards for someone who often wasn’t merciful with me.
Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…
I feel dry.
I rarely get a moment alone. I love my family so much, but everyone needs some quiet time.
There is hardly a day where SOMEONE isn’t expecting me to DO SOMETHING.
I just visited a friend’s blog where she was wanting out of this world. She was wishing Jesus would return quickly. Her life is mundane — unsure of her purpose. I began to encourage her because I needed to hear the words MYSELF.
Feelings can’t be trusted. I know this, because I FEEL like I have lost my direction. I don’t know what God wants me to do. I FEEL like I’m floundering around.
I am blessed because I can dress myself. I can feed myself. I can run and use all of my limbs. I can see the beauty God created. I can smell the rich aromas He created. I can hear the sounds of nature singing His praises. I have been given this life — a precious gift. Jesus DIED that I might have an abundant life!
Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
I am thankful to have the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter. My Mom didn’t have that luxury. I am thankful to have a husband who loves me and works hard to provide for me us. I am thankful to have heart-friends (though I never get to spend time with them). I am thankful to live in a country where I can worship God without suffering persecution.
I am thankful for many things …
So with my last post (which I’m sorry to have posted twice on the same day), I am going to put my focus on THANKING God and PRAISING HIM. If you missed my other post, you can click here.
Thanks for reading as I work through my mess.
I think we all need some time to rejuvenate. Even Jesus himself needed quiet time for prayer and contemplation.
Amen sis, we all have these times, we are only human. I love you, you have my prayers.
You're not alone, Beth. I'm right there too. I'm so thankful for the blessing of staying home, but it's hard having so little time to myself. I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me about this, okay? Hugs.
Oh, how I know about the needing some time to yourself…..we all go through those moments in our lives where we feel dry…or no direction.
I think that is just normal….. but God will see you through this season in your live.
Blessings!
~Beth
thanks for visiting my blog beth… God sees you wherever you are in that situation right now… You just have to trust him beyond the circumstances that you are facing. He's still on the throne and He's still in control…i'll be praying for you…
Jesus cares
Christian
I think we all experience those dry times. It's those times I find I'm truly homesick for Heaven and need to spend time with Jesus and in the Word. You are so precious and wonderful. You've blessed me and so many others not just with material gifts but with kinds words and caring support. I'll be praying that your load be lifted if not in the physical realm, then in the emotional. You're right, emotions can't be trusted but we know Who can. Love you!!!!!
I know that you are just as thankful as I am that we have a God who can and a God who does. Praying for you sweet Beth!
Sometimes the weight of it all gets us down, and I think that is normal because we are human. But keep your chin up, good days ALWAYS follow the bad ones. I think sometimes dreading doing something is worse than actually doing it. I know what you mean w/ never having time alone and that IS tough. But, this too shall pass. Hang in there! (((HUGS)))
You are not alone Beth. Even now I feel like I am in a 'funk' (hope that's not a bad word, but I just feel that way 🙂 I know what God wants me to do but still I feel like I don't know what HE wants me to do now. I feel as though no doors are opening or I don't know where to knock. It's not a good place to be, so I will join you in just praising and thanking Him.
Have a blessed day
Vickie
From what I am reading on other blogs…and what I know firsthand…many of us are journeying through the desert right now…but I smell rain coming….
I am praying you get some along time as it is imperative to each being.
Powerful pic that went well with your post! It was like that land begging for His rain to soak it! Like how it is with our spiritual state. But during these dry times, it is that period when we long more for Him, when we plead more to be with Him. When we are not comfortable here, I think it is a great state to be in so that we don't get so conformed to this land where we don't belong. Praying that you be filled with Him and be satiated with your thirst! Take care sister! God bless.
There's nothing like the Presence of God to bring you back to the wells of our salvation! But in finding that place with Him we must INTENTIONALLY set aside a time and a sacred space to meet with Him. Once we find that place – we will run there as often as we can to be held in His Arms and in His love – the very place were refreshment is poured out like a summer shower!
I will pray that you will intentionally seek that sacred space so He can begin the pouring out of His refreshment upon your life again!
It's all about HIM!
Blessings, Stephanie
I think I have this feeling at least once a week and the medicine to take every time is COUNTING MY BLESSINGS and sometimes that is hard…and sometimes I don't do it….
So vent away…We have all been there…
It's so hard to die to our flesh sometimes, isn't it?
My husband always tells me, "Jesus died for them too…"
I'll be praying, Beth!!!!
I deal with that same mess almost every day. I get up and pray I'll find work and whine cause I have to go work and then I remember my mother who got round number 8 of chemo yesterday and can hardly get out of bed and I'm can't be there to help.
We all go through this–all the time and God knows.
Yes, we all need quiet time, time alone just to let all distractions go so we can be more in tune with the Lord. I pray your cup will be filled so you may bless others.
For whatever your not wanting to do…be strong and be brave, do not be afraid for the Lord your God is with you where ever you may go. Joshua 1:9. You may not have fear, but be reminded He will go with you and give you strength.
Hugs!
I can so relate! but I am sorry you're still having a hard time. It definitely seems like a God ordained season, and not just random happenings. I pray that you and the Holy Spirit will work it out, and you'll come out of this even better than you are already! Love ya
Take a day off for you. Everyone needs it. I am right there with you. I have had a poopy week, and just wish I knew what I was supposed to do. But then I think, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a purpose…just need to find it. I need to find something that makes me happy.
Hopefully you get a well rested day.
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. 🙂 I too have SO much to be thankful for, yet I complain. Thanks for sharing and being open and honest. I said a prayer for you.
Blessings,
Joan
We all have those days!! Praying for you and for you Tuesday situation!! So glad we have our blogs and our bloggy friends to be so open and honest with!!
Love and Blessings
Everyone needs some alone time. I'm sure you're exhausted…physically and emotionally. When that happens to me, that's when I really have to be on my guard spiritually. The enemy can really do a number on me if I'm not careful!
Take care of yourself, friend.
Love and prayers…
Beth, a lot of powerful truths in this post. Most of, I so appreciate you being transparent. Thank you! It is funny at times, here you have a family, friends and desire alone time, where I am single mostly alone, and desire not to be.
Blessings and hugs to you.
Beth, it's the nature of being human. We all need to recharge and spend time on us. It doesn't make us bad or ungodly… we all have those feelings and I guess sometimes dwelling on them make them more pronounced. Rest, rejuvenate and rejoice… you're on the right path to restoring yourself.
Oh Beth…my heart hurts for you…those times are so hard for us….praying girl…..Sue
I tell ya…I could have written this. I'm experiencing some serious spiritual warfare in my mind right now. It's almost unbearable. But breakthroughs come when we praise, and give thanks and worship and quit being so selfish and self-absorbed, ya know? Not that we all don't need time to myself, cuz I CERTAINLY do! But I focus too much on the garbage in my head that it keeps me from having any kind of victory. ugh! Let's all just remember to intercede for one another…it seems like everyone I know in blog world is struggling right now with this stuff!
it's all good..
Oh my dear friend, I so understand the need for your alone time, without the constant demands of having to do for someone else. I am praying that the Lord would come and sweep you off your feet into a most blessed encounter with Him. I am also praying into the situation that you are facing, that God would give you rest, strength and peace and that He will fill you with His love.
Beth,
Hang in there. I have days like this too. Days when I let my stinkin' thinkin' stand in the way of what He has for me.
Praying for you today friend. I know there is a rainbow waiting to shine in glorious colors even through this cloudy time in your life. hugs
Hi Beth,
It is normal to have these feelings but it is hard when they hit us! Thank you for sharing your heart and for being transparent.You are so encouraging and inspirational!
Have a restful day and I am praying for you.
Love and blssings.
Oh, how I needed this today! Hope you are able to rest in Him today.