Hi Friends, I might be two days behind, but I wanted to join Kim’s discussion over at the Internet Cafe!
First, she asked us to watch this short video of Francis Chan. It is really short and interesting … please pause my playlist at the bottom of my blog and watch this if you have a minute.
In light of the Francis Chan video, how do you live out your Christian walk with Jesus? Do you always play it safe? Or do you take risks?
In one or two sentences, what do you want to be said of you, and how you lived out your life for Jesus when your time on earth is finished.
I don’t think I can answer this without explaining where I’ve come from. I have many readers who weren’t with me from the beginning (ha, well actually most of you haven’t read my earlier posts). Many years ago I was asked by my pastor to be the Prayer Coordinator at our (then) church. When he asked me it literally took my breath. I was terrified! This meant being in a leadership role … more pressure than I ever felt teaching Sunday School, singing in the praise band, choir, etc … This was one of the most difficult assignment of my life. I would say I TRULY walked on a narrow beam!
This role lasted about 7 years. I took a lot of spiritual heat and had a lot of darts thrown in my direction over those years. I had people who I thought were my friends turn on me, tell me off over the strangest things, etc … I also saw first hand how people with “Father” or “mother” issues took up their insecurities with those in leadership “over” them. Now that was eye opening (I even saw my own neediness — it wasn’t pretty). It was a very difficult assignment. I guess my spirit knew what accepting that role meant for me. Death to self … death to my rights … death to my will …
With that said and about 4 years behind me since that role, I now feel like I’m hanging onto that beam. I’m not walking really — just kind of of sitting in place. I know God allowed me to sit (I don’t know how else to put it). I was way out of balance in my opinion (and battle weary), but looking back — I don’t know how I could have done anything differently.
Now I am at a church like I’ve always dreamed of attending. Yet I am sitting on the beam. Seriously, every Wednesday night and Sunday morning I thank God for allowing us to be there. But now it seems I have lost confidence in myself — I KNOW — evening saying that I know that my confidence is in the Lord. But do you know what I mean? Have you ever been through something so horrendous that it knocks the spiritual breath out of you? I feel like I’m in a holding pattern, but at the same time — I don’t want to get too comfortable here and forget the dreams I’ve had over the years.
If nothing else, I pray people will say that I loved Jesus with my whole heart. Even though I made plenty of mistakes along the way, my heart was for my Lord.
Thank you for sticking with this and reading through.
If you would like to join this discussion, click on the button below:
Hey, Beth! I just hopped over from Kelly’s blog and am so gald that I did! Your question to ponder is encourging me to go and grab my Bible and head out to my back porch and spend some time with the Lord! Thank you! I’ll be back to visit! Have a great Memorial Day!
Hugs,
Susan
Goodness, I think I’m spoiled for the most part being that I live in a free country and am not tortured for my beliefs. I do absolutely see God open doors at times though and I feel that I am USUALLY bold enough to step through when he does – not always though. Sometimes those “Border Bullies” as my pastor calls them, creep in!
Okay, so in response… due to the fact that I have C.C.D., I wanna know where in the ‘alert emails’ you have the option to REPLY to them? I have no clue how to do that! and I’ve been blogging for years?! Share that secret with me!
God directs our steps…but it’s up to us to listen and respond. He allows to time to rest, reflect and renew. But then he expects us to get back out there.
Take your time to renew…then JUMP IN!
Enjoy your season of rest knoqing He WILL call on you again. Let Him do His work of preparing you. Great post!
Wow Beth..that video was awesome. I want to hear the rest. I don’t want to be hanging on either…I want to be walking and following the Lord with my whole heart. Beautiful. I can see from your blog that you have a heart for the Lord…a sincere heart. Thank you for sharing this.
Hugs,
Mimi
Beth,
Thanks for sharing this. I ususally follow internet cafe. But, i haven’t had much time to get over there lately.
Christy
I wanted to stop by and say hello, hello, to you! so, glad I did! My response to the question “What would I want people to say”…My first response is; “That I trusted Him with my life and believed in all He said was true, resting in the finished work of the cross. That I was completely and totally dependent on Him and the power of His Spirit working through me in every thought, action and deed.”
As I read through your blog it reminded me of my own time of being in “the holding pattern” coming on the heals of having “the breath kicked out me” God actually pulled me out of the church for a time. It was the BEST growing time ever. Be encouraged that this time is a time of refreshing and healing! You will come back stronger, and more secure in who you are because of HIM!
It is nice to “meet” you 🙂
Great post! Thank you for your time serving as a prayer leader. Hope all is well!
I know how you feel, Beth. But those times when you feel as though you’re sitting on the beam are valuable, too. It means God is getting you ready for something new, something more, and something better.
I can’t wait to see what that something He has for you is.
Delighted to meet you! I just found your blog and am enjoying splashin’ around a bit. I will be back, Keep writing, your words are reflecting His goodness to the nations.
Blessing from Costa Rica,
Sarah Dawn
My computer won’t let me see the video.
However, totally understanding about the being in the waiting room with God. Perhaps it’s not that you lack confidence, it’s just that you don’t have full knowledge yet of which direction to move forward in.
Remember what we emailed about yesterday? Perhaps this is part of it. Perhaps He is just holding you back for something else, girlfriend!
Just keep trusting and waiting. He will reveal it soon.
Either we take a risk or play it safe on that balance beam, we forget that God is there, ready to catch us when we fall if we choose to take risks. I just picture Him holding our hands though as we take any wobbly steps.
God will surely bring you to the other end of the beam because I feel you are that person who is willing to take a risk for His glory! God bless.
You have a great blog.
I enjoyed reading it today.
Be sure and stop by my blog and sign up for the “10 Giveaways” that I will draw for on Wednesday.
Also, please pray for sweet Maggie as she returns to St Jude’s this week. Would love for you to grab her button for your blog…
God loves you my friend, and so do I.
I couldn’t view the video, but I read your answer and I appreciate your honesty about where you are. I don’t like to admit that I’m struggling or in a rut or stagnant, but I have been all of these and right now I don’t know where I am. I feel kinda useless I guess. Bible study ended, no children’s class to help with, I’m in the air, but I know I’ll get plugged in soon. So I’m hanging in the air. Thanks. Take care. Nannette