I awakened this morning with these lyrics from Matthew West flowing through my mind and heart, “I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day, without Your all consuming passion inside of me!” You can find Matthew’s song HERE.
I awakened lovesick for my Lord!
Do you ever feel like that? Gone are the days when I could spend all day doing research, bible study, prayer, and worship. Right now in my life, my time is taken by family (which is precious and a gift as well). But oh how I miss those days with my Lord.
I have been thinking about the desires of my heart lately and wondering how God is going to work everything out. Surely He didn’t give me such a passion/desire and not allow me to see these things manifest in the natural. In the past 20 years, I was headed in a particular direction in ministry and life. Now, ministry things seem to be on a back burner. This is such an unfamiliar place for me! You have no idea.
Perhaps I was out of balance before and it has taken the pendulum swinging to the opposite side to balance things out. I guess time will tell (pardon the pun).
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On a totally different note, in case you noticed – I deleted most of the pictures from my sidebars and changed my settings to only show a few posts at at time. I thought this might speed up my page a bit. I hope it helps!
Sweetie, I totally understand. Bless you my friend.
Thank you Beth….I'm listening to I will Search right now on your blog and tears are welling up….I'm in the same place as you, and I too have felt that
"Perhaps I was out of balance before and it has taken the pendulum swinging to the opposite side to balance things out."
I was sharing with the Lord last night and early this morning.."I want more of You Lord". I went to bed early to just spend time in His Word, to feed on His Word and hear Him speak to me….
((hugs))
God will fill you up, and give you the time. Guaranteed. Blessings to you, my dear friend.
I think, as Christians, we all have that deep-rooted desire you describe. Sometimes, it's more apparent than others. Personally, I get that feeling everytime I'm in church…wanting to know Him more and more!
Praying for you on this journey! Sending you love and hugs!
I was thinking yesterday about how I would love to spend a whole day just reading the Word, but how that is not my current season!! Great post
I LOVE that song! I actually shared it on my blog a while back, too… here: http://his-heart.blogspot.com/2009/05/not-me-monday.html.
Consider that your family IS your ministry right now… what a blessing… I know you know that, and I totally "get" what you are saying. D.T. and I were supposed to be in full-time ministry, too, right now, and we are not. Sometimes, I have to figure out how to reconcile that with things God has told me in the past. Not easy.
I will be praying for you.
Oooh, I like that song too! I love it that your Savior wooed you this morning….causing you to wake up to only Him…His desires….His love….His thoughts…His focus…only Him. I can't think of a better way to wake up. Blessings to you!
Beth, I applaud you how you are handling things. I did not do as well as you, partially because I went through an extremely painful time in my marriage which then gratefully led to a divorce. So ministry was my refuge, even though that was a challenge, well, …. like I mentioned before ….
During that time my kids did not have the mother they desserved. Much has been changed since then, and I thank God for His mercies and grace.
Beth, the other thing I thought I would mention is, that your ministry is not on the back-burner at all – pulpit ministry in the traditional sense, yes, maybe.
Your entire blog and your interaction with people is a total ministry, full-on! Probably only when you get to heaven will you come to know how much you are daily impacting people.
You are a living epistle, a fragrance from heaven, and He is rejoicing over you!!
Dear Beth,
Family is a very important ministry, sometimes overlooked. God want our love; I think you are focused on that relationship with the Lord. I believe He will bless all you set your hand to do. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might. Ecclesiastes 9:10
Love you!♥Hope
I understand what you are saying about time focused on the before now is focused in a new direction.
Opening your page has picked up a little speed for me now, thanks!
smooches,
Larie
Beth,
I believe with all my heart that God places us exactly where He wants us to minister at that time.
You are ministering to your family..hubby, Princess, parents. You are ministering many, many people through your blog. You are ministering to those in your church family and your community.
So, I don't believe that your ministry is on the back burner. Your ministry is taking place right now!
Love you,
Beth
OH preach it Angelika and everyone else who is offering such encouragement!
I love that she talks about how your blog can be considered your ministry and how you have no idea right now on how many people's lives you are touching with just your words. God is using you as His vessel even when you don't realize it.
It is a hard thing to be torn between family and ministry, but we know where our priority must lie.
That's why I love doing ministry with my family when possible. We get to be together, and we're not taking time away from each other.
Of course, that doesn't always work.
Yet, we still need to use the gifts God has given us to uplift the body of Christ too.
When there is a need, or a place within the church, He will reveal it if you are to fill it.
There will be time again, my friend!
Be careful not to look to ministry as the top of the mountain. Ministry is letting the Lord live through you as you journey up the mountain. Every where you go, everything you do is ministry to those around you if you recognize and acknowledge the presence of God in you and yield to His power within you to touch others.
I can totally relate to "Surely He didn't give me such a passion/desire and not allow me to see these things manifest in the natural." I feel the same way about some things, things I have been waiting 10 years for. I sometimes wonder if the desires are really from Him or if they are from me (if I let myself, I can REALLY get so desperate to see them that it hurts to think about it). I try to give those desires to Him, to pray for my desires to align with His will for my life. They MUST be from Him because they keep coming back. Just hang in there until the time is right (that was to both of us, by the way). 🙂 Love, Jo Jo
Beautiful Beth. Perhaps you need to take some time away with Him and seek His face and His timing.
My techie son tells me that it's all your moving things that is slowing down the bandwidth. Just pictures shouldn't do it.
Hi Beth,
I could totally identify with you regarding your ministry and your family life.
I've gone through the process of God taking my life turning it inside out, upside down sometimes in the opposite direction to the ministry direction I thought I was going.
But unless we minister to our immediate family members we can't possibly minister to others. It is here where the true setting and development of our character lies that prepares us for public ministry. Our idea of ministry becomes so institutionalized. It just came to me recently that my ministry is my blog – such simplicity. And your blog is your expression of God through you.
Minister girl.
Love, Alicia
I so desire to be in Him, grasping for more, more more. Last night after a very busy day I crawled out of bed. In the dark found my Bible and journal and went downstairs. My heart needed to be fed, my spirit encouraged and I know that yearning, with a hectic and busy life. God has blessed me today with energy after getting to bed way to late. But I had time iwth our Savior and Lord to be quiet and ponder the gift of His Word.