To anyone else, this photo just captures someone’s kitchen area, but to me it contains bitter-sweet memories. Before June of 2011 I would have seen my Mom sitting in that chair to the right, and my precious Daddy sitting in the chair facing me. The television behind Daddy would have been on and they would have been eating. I often caught them at breakfast or lunch — many times bringing the lunch.
See the little rounded shelves to the right under the bar? I remember when I was a little girl, my Mom would set a little plate on those shelves as she cooked. I would eat the beans out of snap beans faster than she could cook them. That same floor is where my Mom placed me on top of her feet and danced me around to a silly song.
But in the end, that table was the place where I saw countless pills, bills, and lists. I often sat there and wrote out their bills, made phone calls for them, and tried to help. But at the same time — wanting to scream inside and run away from the pain of it all.
Do you see the flowers in the background? I bought that yellow flower arrangement in the hopes of lighting up their home a little. My Mom was always so easy to please when it came to buying stuff for her house. She and I did have some similar likes, so that was one way I could do something to bring a smile. She loved things for her home.
These photos were taken earlier this week. I had to meet someone there, so as I have done for many years — I picked up some takeout and sat at their table and ate. I sat in the chair that was mine growing up and the one that I often sat in when I visited.
I ate.
Alone.
Surrounded by the memories. Good, bad, sweet, and extremely sad.
I ate. I cried. I smiled.
I am SO THANKFUL God gave me that one last chance to sit at their table with my memories. I had no idea that my brother would be disassembling that table the same week to take to his sweet daughter. God is so good to me! And I even thought to take photos. Thank You Lord!
While I was there I also took a photo of my parent’s living room. Again, not knowing that my sister would be removing the coffee table and end tables that have sat in the exact same spots my entire life — I took a photo.
Aren’t we blessed to have technology these days?
I had a dream the other night that Uncle Percy (my husband’s uncle that I loved like my own family), Mama, and Daddy had come back to life for one week. I asked them questions about heaven, but the only question I remembered after waking was this one: “Does He tell you when I ask Him to tell you all how much I miss you?” I asked. Uncle Percy said, “Yes, sometimes He does.”
Yes, God is so good to me! And He loves us all!
I am grateful! I’m sure you can find little sweet gifts like these from the Lord too.
Have a blessed Saturday everyone!
Oh my friend, how bittersweet. I am thankful you go the opportunity to visit and take pictures before some of the furniture that leave with such previous memories was taken. How you must miss your mama and daddy, especially in this season. Asking God to reach down and give you BIG HUG!
Beth, I think of you often and of how different this Christmas will be for you from any other prior. It will be bittersweet, as you said. Your parents will not be here to share in the celebrating and holiday traditions, but new and lovely memories will be created by the Lord for you and your family.
I am sitting here crying as I read your words, and can only imagine what you are going through as my own parents are both with me still. Know that you and your family are always in my prayers.